“An Unexpected Third Party”
The power to disappear, to be invisible! Supremely useful of course if one is a burglar. We’re not obviously. No no really we mean it- we an open source marketeer firm fully freelance and we work for eco freelancers and advertisers with some social responsibility. We are setting up relationships where sustainable efforts are up front, loud and clear.
We would make a truly awful Burglar - stealth is not an option when you are trying to get noticed and grab attention!
An Unexpected
Third Party...
Welcome to Billboard Baggins...
We offer all the art and design to produce branding materials for e-bikes - hope you enjoy our sight try not to be tempted by the forces of darkness on the road to victory on your quest! We make stuff almost entirely from recycled materials - we do our best to use household domestic goods and workshop our designs from that!
The bikes and trailers are variable in size, shape and utility. We will help to pair you up with the perfect local operative, any design needs fabrication needs and a range of additional services to boost your business green credentials all in-house.
Grand scale, attention grabbing urban mobile billboarding - pulled by lovely bicycles, looking like a Climate Crisis Legend .
Your Stuff,
here, there & everywhere
Branded Bikes & Trailers
We love to brand up one of our bikes itself to get maximum exposure for your brand when delivering your orders - or any other business we are doing! Billboards are selling product while we go about our daily - that bike is now a money maker for you and of course our riders are proud of the brands we carry!
Boxes & Crates
Micro Packaging starts here looking at modest run of small goods locally? Not quite ready to commit to a full bike either for yourself or sponsoring one of ours.. This is the perfect entry point for you. Could this be the art form for the new generation of small and micro businesses,...we hope so. Get Noticed - All crates and boxes can match or be unique sky’s the limit!
Cuboid backpacks, Personal carriers
We do not love the back backs - for health and safety reasons. Although if riders and clients like them we will provide and ensure they meet brand standards. We’d prefer healthy backs - eyes have landed on these so successfully since their invention - we would like to avoid crippling our workforce and there is always the temptation to carry too much weight - so we’re on top of this! Pragmatism, Invention, design. Stay Tuned.
Coffee Bikes - Humble, Awesome business
We have several ways to add a bike to your coffee business and get your brand that extra recognition - this is a highly competitive market - all about you branding & presentation on top of great coffee! outsource this to us on a fixed rate basis - coffee bike can of course be further developed in many ways. Checkout ‘underdogscoffee’ from Holism Brands Ltd
Your Brand Associated with excellence
High standards all the way with us, we have background experience in hospitality, luxury travel and tourism our brands we currently carry are associated with excellence only - we protect that with high standards internally. Never ever failing like the post office or an institution known for badass success - wa are out to impress!
Positivity & enthusiasm
It’s a bit depressing out there isn’t it! Can we be honest if you have a greenwashing attitude stay away we want to build new new, better systems you cannot achieve that with nay sayers etc - Ironically it is Drive that this needs!
The World of Design Has Changed
Stand Out by Standing Up
Novelty is obviously a big part of the strength of our concept - we want hype and buzz to be achievable. to businesses of all shapes and sizes. We can deliver a major brand cultural upgrade watch sales go viral as an ethical movement. it’s even better for our health - looking up from that screen shopping hell!
Keep it Simple
We provide attention grabbing cheerful ethical marketing targeted locally - right there on the street, on the doorstep of your target market.
A tried and tested model here with some really strong USP in concept up front that we can celebrate as quite possibly not entirely, pointless.
You Bow to no One
Breaking up the gig monopoly - bikes on a mission. We are proud to be doing this dignified yet thankless task with a little panache - a cyclists flare, pink and yellow flashed, fit young person - hobbit sized perhaps but with us you get your own mini brand ambassador, marketeer & warrior!
Collectivism & Efficiency
Freelancers will be brand loyal - motivated to help move your product, generating sales within this eco-friendly range. As Co-ops we benefit from our partnership with the best modern logistics out there your brand could not be in safer hands..
How to spot the
Mirky woods from
The Fangorn Forrest?
fear the web! ...a wee bit.
Social media marketing is as much a public health crisis as it is a highly saturated space to try and grab attention...ethics are being poop-canned in the name of data led auto-marketing. We are different. Life continuing on earth and living things are our priority. Until Ai’s have bank accounts - you have to sell to people not apps...apps want you on your knees, we want you up on your feet and keeping your money!
Anti-data, anti-gig, traditionalist hipster marketeers with bicycles.
- We offer an alternative messaging culture which is not scary or creepy or dystopian.
- We will gather as little data as possible, promise.
- No Clandestine business practices.
- We respect our customers rights and we think our clients should as well
- We have a choice about how we grow our business...we, just by coincidence... happen to also love these super cool bikes and what not...
Desolation of Smug
Our People; We are seeking to actively improve cycle workers careers - in terms of conditions but also standards. We see a future where the local eco-freelancer, members of a union, trained by market experts will be leading the charge in green logistics.
Our folks have a stake in supporting and growing your brand in their local area, and will do everything in their power to represent your brand up to influencing via social media, reviewing, surveys, flyering you name it. We are Co-operationists here. That is not a word. Not yet.
The age of old marketing is ending, sort of.
Near Zero emission vehicles, cool future stuff
Human Powered Vehicles, piloted by the qualified and professional only. We believe this is a universal good to society and are super proud to be handling your brands upon vehicles that will really make a positive near impossible to ignore impact.
Choosing eco-billboards sends more than just brand message
Billboards we carry are also telling the world - that you care, and are doing the right thing and thinking about our community etc - includes culture war bandwagon for free both love and hate media attention is good for business!
NON-Profit social business or rebel business?
We love to hear from social causes or small businesses in general which have a positive community impact and deserve our support - we are very keen to help drive environmental projects in particular or active travel and cycling projects.
It’s the Job That’s Never Started That Takes the Longest.
We are developing pioneering new services all the time - with cargo bike vehicles and integrated logistics to market your products while we deliver them! - we are expanding our options menu all the time. Cups, cutlery, flasks you name it we are producing cool brand identifiers for you that are kinder to middle earth!
The world has changed - welcome to the battle of the five plastics - we seek to turn as much garbage into useful goods and products as possible!
Forged in the fires of mordor...? not exactly.
We are taking what big marketing company’s do and doing it on a micro scale to boost our economy, save the planet etc! The sky is the limit with recyclables...checkout our partner in crime....the UFO’s who make our stuff!
Our Billboards are made from recycled materials foraged in the local community.
Billboard Baggins will pair you up with an eco-freelancer that best meets your needs. It is possible that your rider foraged and manufactured your Billboards! We think we are the first people doing this so please bang on about us to your pals!
We provide everything needed to get you guys making money together - we kit the rider out and their vehicle setup and come to you with a proposal on how to best deliver eyeballs to your messaging and then make it happen!
Billboard Classic
relatively simple
- Intern Marketeer rates applied to production as standard. Intern will prepare first drafts for your approval - these are free of charge.
- If satisfied with the direction of travel and the Intern’s work so far - We will co-sign a contract and bill for the first 50%, for matrial costs.
- Perfect option to complement your Micro-logistics enterprise and create brand recognition in your target market.
- Presented during our normal operations.
- Super premium options available - installations, hand painted commissions from local talented makers of locally maked...made things.
Cut through...
These are our service categories however we prioritise your needs and are very happy to accomodate most budgets!
Integrated Logistics
Representing your brand
- Product aware agents, consistent Staff Deployment, select your preferred marketeer for tasks.
- event support - just a bit more service than pick up and drop off is often needed book us for the whole day and get some more hands included
- Social media campaign management & Influential unique content from humanoid life forms.
- flyering, surveys, Flyering product demo - we are with you!
Twelve Month Plan
Managed Campaign
- Spread your marketing bill over 12 months
- Schedule the whole term - what, when and where planned campaigns you can take full control!
- Choose between Intern or Master Marketeer
- Time planning your campaign plan is included in your 12 months with no hidden extras!
- Market Responsive, billboard use also includes our operational use
Vehicle Sponsorship
Major Kudos
- Part wholly fund a unique perfect for task vehicle specific to your own mission.
- Stand out by spending your marketing budget on something useful and get major legit kudos from all.
- Sponsoring means a vehicle is an animal in a sanctuary - what you’re gonna get is a connection with that rider & Bike and local community - enjoy perks and privileges.
- the skies the limit folks - we could develop something unforgettable together, get in touch!
Vehicles
Trusty Steed...
Studies have shown that urban delivery vans carry only 180kg on average most of these vehicles - our cargo bikes with electric assist motors have changed the game in terms of transport and logistics we are just waiting for the market to catch up with the tech!
We part fund a freelancers vehicle that they take ownership of. advertising landscape on the bike. We are promoting granular, local marketing efforts instead of big business and outsourcing many of the liability presenting barriers elsewhere in the industry.
Unique
Kits
Trailer
Nothing in the urban space is more eye catching...
Billboard designs, Bespoke installations, a brand livery on these vehicles will stick out like a sore thumb promoting green logistics associate your brand with this dynamic and disruptor level new means of matketing in volume! See your brand getting taken around so efficiently you’ll be feeling like a legend for helping the climate effort too! Tiniest of heroes - join us!
”Quadzilla”(quadramimus massivarstadon)
Cargo-bike & dual axle trailer , native to Northern Europe
Max Payload = 500kg - Bike additional carrying = 200kg
Real Estate equivalent to single storey Lothian Bus while being parked, stored overnight it could be commiunicating your message in the most populous areas.
“Cthulhu”
(giganticus cthulhutitanuranus) latin
Unknown - previously believed to only exist in myth - probably the largest human powered vehicle ever to roll across the earth.
Real Estate value estimated equivalent to a double decker bus however one can only estimate eye grabbing power of this unit once it’s existence is confirmed, tame one enough to wear a banner.
beware
cthulhu
cometh
“Greta Truckberg”
Named in honour of Gret Thunberg, a wee giant of our time.
Big thanks to Greta for pointing out the utter futility of rigorous schooling and parental pressures for achievement in the face of certain doom. We think Kids should be listened to not told how it is...unless it’s like something hot or dirty or 97% sugar etc
250kg
‘Trailersaurus-Rex’
This apex predator is carbon dioxides worst enemy by sheer mass market utility - this beast can replace the vast majority of ‘take the care’ cause you have to situations in life where as also providing huge retail advertising space - a highly evolved beast that has evolved the sole purpose to consume... well consumption of fossil fuels...and silly car journeys
Fellowship; You shall have my Bow,
and my Axe!
Join us, become an eco-freelancer - your own boss getting credit for being awesome at what you do!
GRASSROUTES
holism
Co-Op Membership
Unite for change! Let us make this work aspirational and hopeful and lucrative!
We are associated with the climate freelancers movement and are active in other areas such as the manufacture of our tools, facilities and vehicles.
We are the exclusive affiliated partner of Leith Bike Taxi Cooperative. We want marketing delivered by those with a real stake in the operation only.
Founded
With Love
& Pipe Smoking.
“Of course, my dear Bilbo, said Gandalf. ‘If you had really started this affair, you might be expected to finish it. But you know well enough now that starting is too great a claim for any, and that only a small part is played in great deeds by any hero...” JRRTolkien,
This littlest hero company was started with deepest love, lifelong fondness & gratitude for these books and the loving, moral thoughtful childhoods they gave us.
Regarding Intellectual Property Use,
We Believe that our site meets the perfectly legal terms of use as a ‘Parody’ due to the comedic tone and nature of all products and services. All goods and services offered herein which are similar to other copyrighted materials again - we would argue that the use is benign which falls well within the category of a ’Parody’ and at no point does this business operation cause any disruption or unfair market capture resulting from the use of hobbit themed branding as a comedic and parody reference. in the spirit of free speech, comedic silliness and harmless fun we hope the brand will be welcomed as a loving parody or fan fiction type license in terms of any copyright violation that maybe raised as a complaint in the future this is non-intentional - please accept our apology and know for sure that any objections from the Tolkien estate or it’s representatives will be immediately respected and any materials or activities they find to be not within their preferred or legal terms of use that will immediately be respected and upheld without contest from us once verified altered or removed to the satisfaction of rights holders - this is in no way a market threat to the Tolkien foundation or the Tolkien estate and is simply a parody of the beloved character and national treasure Bilbo in the true spirit of the book our business is a tiny hero standing up to great seemingly invincible evil and the recurring dark lords of war and climate collapse.
